How to Journal to help with Relationships
1. FIND THE GOOD
Our mind is hard wired to fixate on the negative. This was originally necessary to stay alive but now inhibits our ability to live a happy, healthy life. The next time you find yourself annoyed or frustrated with your parents, kids, spouse, in law, friends, etc, shift your thoughts by dedicating a portions of the WHAT AM I GRATEFUL section to write something about them that you love, find helpful or appreciate. As you’re doing this, take it a step further and explore the true reasoning of your frustration or anger and if anything is a reflection of you.
Example: Imagine waking up and feeling annoyed that you asked your spouse to do something and found that they didn't do it. Was there something they DID do? Are there things in the house they take care of that you often don't notice? Think of something you can write down that counters the negative thought and feelings. "I am grateful that {insert spouse name} took the liberty to put the kids to bed and gave me extra time to read"
2. CREATE INTENTION
Use the TODAYS INTENTION to focus on a relationship that you want to repair, grow in, shift more positively or simply change for the better. This intention needs to be something you can control- how you respond, speak, initiate, pay attention to, implement, or simply show up in the relationship. It can also be something you want to stop doing or shift in the way you do it. Maybe it’s getting outside more with the kids, being more present, creating more alone time with your spouse, etc. To take it a step further, explore the barrier that is currently in between you and your intention.
Example: You've been really busy lately and your mind is going a million miles a minute and you feel like everyone needs your attention at once. Getting out the door every morning is a rush and you can't remember the last time you connected with your spouse. "My intention before parting ways is to embrace or kiss for 6 seconds and do the same upon returning home."
2. LEARNING OPPORTUNITY
Every situation, interaction, argument, agreement, can become a learning experience and that is exactly the purpose of ONE LESSON FROM MY DAY. Did you learn something new about someone that can help you in the future? Did you learn something about yourself that can help you in your relationships? Did you handle something in a way you didn’t like and, in retrospect, wish you would have done something else instead? There are 100’s of little things we can learn every single day if we just open our mind enough to explore it a little further.
Example: I asked my spouse to do something and they didn't do it. I got mad about it and a fight broke out. "I learned that I took it personal that {insert spouse name} didn't do something for me and internalized that as they don't care enough about my feelings, wants and needs. I also didn't fully communicate why I needed it done and why it was important to me.In reality, {spouse} simply forgot and it really had nothing to do with ME"
The gratitude and reflection portions of the Run My Life journal are intended to allow you the space to dig a little deeper into yourself, your thoughts, your patterns and use it to initiate change within yourself. We will never have control of others but we can work to control ourself, our mind, our emotions. Sometimes the conclusion you may come to is that you need space from that relationship, more communication or additional help. Sometimes the conclusion you come to is that you are part of the problem and there are things you can do alone to help change things. The journal helps get you there.
Xoxo,
Tess
1. FIND THE GOOD
Our mind is hard wired to fixate on the negative. This was originally necessary to stay alive but now inhibits our ability to live a happy, healthy life. The next time you find yourself annoyed or frustrated with your parents, kids, spouse, in law, friends, etc, shift your thoughts by dedicating a portions of the WHAT AM I GRATEFUL section to write something about them that you love, find helpful or appreciate. As you’re doing this, take it a step further and explore the true reasoning of your frustration or anger and if anything is a reflection of you.
Example: Imagine waking up and feeling annoyed that you asked your spouse to do something and found that they didn't do it. Was there something they DID do? Are there things in the house they take care of that you often don't notice? Think of something you can write down that counters the negative thought and feelings. "I am grateful that {insert spouse name} took the liberty to put the kids to bed and gave me extra time to read"
2. CREATE INTENTION
Use the TODAYS INTENTION to focus on a relationship that you want to repair, grow in, shift more positively or simply change for the better. This intention needs to be something you can control- how you respond, speak, initiate, pay attention to, implement, or simply show up in the relationship. It can also be something you want to stop doing or shift in the way you do it. Maybe it’s getting outside more with the kids, being more present, creating more alone time with your spouse, etc. To take it a step further, explore the barrier that is currently in between you and your intention.
Example: You've been really busy lately and your mind is going a million miles a minute and you feel like everyone needs your attention at once. Getting out the door every morning is a rush and you can't remember the last time you connected with your spouse. "My intention before parting ways is to embrace or kiss for 6 seconds and do the same upon returning home."
2. LEARNING OPPORTUNITY
Every situation, interaction, argument, agreement, can become a learning experience and that is exactly the purpose of ONE LESSON FROM MY DAY. Did you learn something new about someone that can help you in the future? Did you learn something about yourself that can help you in your relationships? Did you handle something in a way you didn’t like and, in retrospect, wish you would have done something else instead? There are 100’s of little things we can learn every single day if we just open our mind enough to explore it a little further.
Example: I asked my spouse to do something and they didn't do it. I got mad about it and a fight broke out. "I learned that I took it personal that {insert spouse name} didn't do something for me and internalized that as they don't care enough about my feelings, wants and needs. I also didn't fully communicate why I needed it done and why it was important to me.In reality, {spouse} simply forgot and it really had nothing to do with ME"
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